Candidate #3

Ben Stein.

Need we say more? He's a hardcore Republican, former Nixon speechwriter, a supposed "smart guy" who's into the theory of Intelligent Design, and an all-around jerk. Plus, I hold him personally responsible for bringing Jimmy Kimmel into the national consciousness.

The brilliant Dickipedia says:

For those tempted to be impressed by the breadth of his CV, know that the enormity of his range is but a molehill compared to the Alps of his dickishness, which manifests itself, among many other ways, in his perverse interest, despite being married, in attractive-yet-stupid female teenagers.

In short, eff him!