»

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Candidate #5


Ted Nugent.

Where to begin? The man's authored three books:

  • God, Guns and Rock 'n' Roll
  • Kill It and Grill It
  • BloodTrails II: The Truth About Bowhunting

He once famously asked "who needs to club a seal, when you can club Heidi [Prescott, a representative for the group Fund for Animals]?" (And was promptly fined $75,000 by a judge.)

He's apparently endorsed child beating? At least, he told The Independent that "corporal punishment is real good. It teaches dogs not to shit on the couch."

He's a homophobe, natch.

And let's not even get into "Cat Scratch Fever".

We're a little conflicted with this nomination, though, for one reason and one reason only -- the awesome(ly awful) power ballad "Where You Goin' Now":


Eh. We'll get over it. Eff the Nuge!

Candidate #4


Log Cabin Republicans.

Because the only thing worse than being a self-loathing gay person is being a self-loathing gay person who actively promotes bigotry against yourself.

Log Cabin Republicans win the WTF Award for sheer, unadulterated craziness. And that is why we nominate them for the Worst People in the World.

Candidate #3


Ben Stein.

Need we say more? He's a hardcore Republican, former Nixon speechwriter, a supposed "smart guy" who's into the theory of Intelligent Design, and an all-around jerk. Plus, I hold him personally responsible for bringing Jimmy Kimmel into the national consciousness.

The brilliant Dickipedia says:

For those tempted to be impressed by the breadth of his CV, know that the enormity of his range is but a molehill compared to the Alps of his dickishness, which manifests itself, among many other ways, in his perverse interest, despite being married, in attractive-yet-stupid female teenagers.

In short, eff him!

Candidate #2

In rather the same vein as Candidate #1, we nominate:

the adults who forced their children to make this video.

Bonus points for making them sing.

Candidate #1


Adults who force their children to participate in hate demonstrations!

But the "God Hates Signs" guy makes us significantly less furious. Go "God Hates Signs" guy!