Candidate #7

John Mayer, you are grossing me out.






John Mayer, you are grossing me out.





John Mayer, you are grossing me out.





John Mayer, you are grossing me out.

Candidate #5

Ted Nugent.

Where to begin? The man's authored three books:

• God, Guns and Rock 'n' Roll
• Kill It and Grill It
• BloodTrails II: The Truth About Bowhunting

He once famously asked "who needs to club a seal, when you can club Heidi [Prescott, a representative for the group Fund for Animals]?" (And was promptly fined $75,000 by a judge.)

He's apparently endorsed child beating? At least, he told The Independent that "corporal punishment is real good. It teaches dogs not to shit on the couch."

He's a homophobe, natch.

And let's not even get into "Cat Scratch Fever".

We're a little conflicted with this nomination, though, for one reason and one reason only -- the awesome(ly awful) power ballad "Where You Goin' Now":


Eh. We'll get over it. Eff the Nuge!

Candidate #3

Ben Stein.

Need we say more? He's a hardcore Republican, former Nixon speechwriter, a supposed "smart guy" who's into the theory of Intelligent Design, and an all-around jerk. Plus, I hold him personally responsible for bringing Jimmy Kimmel into the national consciousness.

The brilliant Dickipedia says:

For those tempted to be impressed by the breadth of his CV, know that the enormity of his range is but a molehill compared to the Alps of his dickishness, which manifests itself, among many other ways, in his perverse interest, despite being married, in attractive-yet-stupid female teenagers.

In short, eff him!